One question clients don't ask openly but do ask with reaching out: is this the right time for me to be reaching for help? It's a very gray area for them, and I often see them reaching out months into an issue, or at the start of something that isn't an issue but a growth zone. And it's hard for them to know the difference between growth zone and pain zone, when it all kind of looks and feels the same (or so they think). So some clarity can be provided here.
Growth zones are challenging. Pain zones are isolating. Feeling challenged vs feeling isolated is one way to tell if you are being asked to step up into a level of more empowerment for yourself, or if you are slipping into a trajectory of pained thinking and response making.
If it's hard and you don't really want to do it or deal with it but it's not painful (mentally, and/or spiritually, and/or emotionally, and/or physically) then you can be assured it's just a baby-self of you resisting what is, and this (what needs to be done or dealt with) is for your ultimate growth as a human being.
If it's hard and you don't really want to do it or deal with it and it's painful (mentally, and/or spiritually, and/or emotionally, and/or physically) then you can be assured it's a pathway that will lead to spiralling behavior fueled by mind and ego. Somewhere in the original thought here mind came in, and began to storymake around the initial "what needs to be done or dealt with"; this storymaking convolutes the issue, adding past experience, current experience, and the faulty "I" gaze of memory into the mix seamlessly so you cannot see true reality. Emotional weightings of the past experiences, current experiences, and the faulty "I" gaze of memory that ego assigns slips into the original "what needs to be done or dealt with" creating a vortex of pained storymaking and response making. At this point, you are in a house of mirrors, with no memory of where the door is.
At this point, those in a pain zone will begin amping up the response making, applying band-aids to emotions or situations, operating out of the clarity they have in the moment (which is based on a foundation of misinformation, and being fueled by fear). Isolation occurs on the spiritual level that echoes out into daily life. Cocooning occurs; not a healthy, recharging act but a response to being overwhelmed on every body level (mental, emotional, spiritually, physically). Escapism and escape tactics run rampant until eventually a life-changing event occurs where seeking help is the catalyst for getting you back on the right path of your life.
If you can begin to know and understand and recognize isolation as the warning sign that you are in a pain zone, you can sidestep months of trouble by getting the right kind of help right away.
So how do you tell band-aid help from right kind of help? Band-aid help is driven by wanting to escape the experience and the emotions that are circling or enveloping you, creating the pain. You want to be freed from this, you want to be saved. Anything might work. Try it all. Storymaking is happening. The need to be absolved from this, to just not experience this, it's not what you wanted, is greater than the need for surrendered, peaceful relief.
Right kind of help is driven by wanting the understanding that comes with peacefilled awareness. You want to be helped, yes, but mostly fully seen and relieved. You aren't looking to run from this, to distract yourself from this. Something will help; not anything or everything. It's on you, all over you, it stinks, it's yours, you are intertwined as one, and you recognize you need relief. It's beyond your capabilities but you'll do the work. Willingness and surrendering to what is happening is paramount. Storymaking could occur but the need for relief, and peacefilled awareness and understanding, outweighs the need to blame.
If you can begin to know and understand and recognize storymaking as the warning sign that you are WILLING to live in a pain zone instead of living wonderfully (and yeah, sometimes annoyingly) challenged in a growth zone, then you can sidestep even more trouble by keeping yourself surrendered to the process and healing your young baby-self that needs care.
All our baby-selves need re-caring. All our past lives' baby-selves need re-caring too. If you can begin to know and understand and recognize hearing, witnessing, and caring for your youthful, baby-self so it can grow into a matured and healthy version of itself is the key to living a life of love-filled wonderfulness, then you can sidestep even more trouble.
It all comes down to this: bringing yourself back to that ball of love and need you once were, and knowing/experiencing the entire universe surrounding you with care and concern for you, providing you what you need when you need it, soothing and helping you AND trusting in that -- that is where all of your spiritual practice and work should be focused. Remembering it, and returning to this mind-state of The Universe is a Love-and-Need-Fulfilling Place With No End, and healing anything in you that tries to take you elsewhere (like into storymaking and pain zones) so you can live daily from this place: this is it. This is where you try to work from if you'd like to just sidestep all pain zones and just bump into growth zones (yeah, you cannot skip the growth zones at all).
Growth zones are challenging. Pain zones are isolating. Feeling challenged vs feeling isolated is one way to tell if you are being asked to step up into a level of more empowerment for yourself, or if you are slipping into a trajectory of pained thinking and response making.
If it's hard and you don't really want to do it or deal with it but it's not painful (mentally, and/or spiritually, and/or emotionally, and/or physically) then you can be assured it's just a baby-self of you resisting what is, and this (what needs to be done or dealt with) is for your ultimate growth as a human being.
If it's hard and you don't really want to do it or deal with it and it's painful (mentally, and/or spiritually, and/or emotionally, and/or physically) then you can be assured it's a pathway that will lead to spiralling behavior fueled by mind and ego. Somewhere in the original thought here mind came in, and began to storymake around the initial "what needs to be done or dealt with"; this storymaking convolutes the issue, adding past experience, current experience, and the faulty "I" gaze of memory into the mix seamlessly so you cannot see true reality. Emotional weightings of the past experiences, current experiences, and the faulty "I" gaze of memory that ego assigns slips into the original "what needs to be done or dealt with" creating a vortex of pained storymaking and response making. At this point, you are in a house of mirrors, with no memory of where the door is.
At this point, those in a pain zone will begin amping up the response making, applying band-aids to emotions or situations, operating out of the clarity they have in the moment (which is based on a foundation of misinformation, and being fueled by fear). Isolation occurs on the spiritual level that echoes out into daily life. Cocooning occurs; not a healthy, recharging act but a response to being overwhelmed on every body level (mental, emotional, spiritually, physically). Escapism and escape tactics run rampant until eventually a life-changing event occurs where seeking help is the catalyst for getting you back on the right path of your life.
If you can begin to know and understand and recognize isolation as the warning sign that you are in a pain zone, you can sidestep months of trouble by getting the right kind of help right away.
So how do you tell band-aid help from right kind of help? Band-aid help is driven by wanting to escape the experience and the emotions that are circling or enveloping you, creating the pain. You want to be freed from this, you want to be saved. Anything might work. Try it all. Storymaking is happening. The need to be absolved from this, to just not experience this, it's not what you wanted, is greater than the need for surrendered, peaceful relief.
Right kind of help is driven by wanting the understanding that comes with peacefilled awareness. You want to be helped, yes, but mostly fully seen and relieved. You aren't looking to run from this, to distract yourself from this. Something will help; not anything or everything. It's on you, all over you, it stinks, it's yours, you are intertwined as one, and you recognize you need relief. It's beyond your capabilities but you'll do the work. Willingness and surrendering to what is happening is paramount. Storymaking could occur but the need for relief, and peacefilled awareness and understanding, outweighs the need to blame.
If you can begin to know and understand and recognize storymaking as the warning sign that you are WILLING to live in a pain zone instead of living wonderfully (and yeah, sometimes annoyingly) challenged in a growth zone, then you can sidestep even more trouble by keeping yourself surrendered to the process and healing your young baby-self that needs care.
All our baby-selves need re-caring. All our past lives' baby-selves need re-caring too. If you can begin to know and understand and recognize hearing, witnessing, and caring for your youthful, baby-self so it can grow into a matured and healthy version of itself is the key to living a life of love-filled wonderfulness, then you can sidestep even more trouble.
It all comes down to this: bringing yourself back to that ball of love and need you once were, and knowing/experiencing the entire universe surrounding you with care and concern for you, providing you what you need when you need it, soothing and helping you AND trusting in that -- that is where all of your spiritual practice and work should be focused. Remembering it, and returning to this mind-state of The Universe is a Love-and-Need-Fulfilling Place With No End, and healing anything in you that tries to take you elsewhere (like into storymaking and pain zones) so you can live daily from this place: this is it. This is where you try to work from if you'd like to just sidestep all pain zones and just bump into growth zones (yeah, you cannot skip the growth zones at all).