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how to move your way through your growth change points gracefully and with as little whiny complaining as possible

There is one variation of question clients usually bring me when they see me for a 1:1 session:  How to stay conscious when you forget to trust?
They ask this when they want to know how to find clarity during a turbulent time. They ask this when doubt is high, or when they're not centered enough to keep looking at the "problem" by themselves. They ask this when they are pretending they believe in the universal goodness that surrounds them but in their deep places, they do not. They ask this when they are birthing a new version of themselves and everything is shaken to the core. So, how do you stay conscious when you forget to trust? You can't. Many people want to know how to start building a big beautiful life on a foundation of where they are right now. They don't want to know that they need to tear everything down and start building from scratch. They are sure they want to keep the foundations they have, and just do spot repairs here and there, as their new beautiful life unfolds above those shaky, ill-serving roots. It doesn't work that way. For a good rebuild, things need to go. There are parts of you that are built from beliefs that, at this point in your life, are now only causing harm, in micro and macro ways, and the only way to build out a good beautiful life from this place is to extricate these parts by any means necessary, and life does this for you, willingly. The unwilling part is always our ego self, our personalities, that do not want to be mined and extricated. Our larger, more higher self, our more divine self, the one we were when we were fresh sparks of life way back when: they want the mining done, they want the extrication done, they want to feel fresh and renewed again. They want us to get on with it already, to get the new foundations in, so the big beautiful life is a reality they live daily, not just a secret wish or dream. So life works to do this for us. And we're highly ungrateful about it. I've been stripped to my core a few times this lifetime. Each time now I think, "okay, that's a good one. I really should be at the dark and earthy bits of me by now, clean and ready to build" and the next time it happens, I am (now, after many times and many years) pleasantly surprised it's happening again. The first few times I was like you, maybe: unsure of what was happening, questioning why is this happening, struggling with what's happening even though I know it's probably for the best, wondering why it's happening again cause ain't I doing enough of the work already --- but after a few times, I just go with it. "We're going down, be kind and relaxed towards yourself" is all I think now (I mean, once I realize I am a small tiny being uselessly trying to remove this colossal new way of becoming from my path). "Go with this flow" becomes my mantra. I ride along, safely and swiftly, because I trust the process, having witnessed it unfold in this lifetime many times, having observed the ins and outs carefully as it happened (so ego-me could naively believe it could be avoided in the future). I can stay conscious with it because I trust the process of it and the ones who bring me to it. I trust. So, you can't stay conscious without trust, without believing deeply there is no real harm to come, that everyone and everything seen and unseen are conspiring to bring you to the next point safely and in one piece (and they are, you can take my word on this). I trust this, after being tossed about and stripped down by the process many times. I go in one way and I come out another way, better than ever, in all ways. And the fastest way through is with trusting the process and those that bring it. The shortest path possible through turbulence is only found by trust (which is surrendering, a big fluffy down bed you sink your soul into). So yeah, to stay conscious when you forget to trust = impossible. Aim to rebuild trust in those moments instead. What's true for you? What can you rely on? What do you know? Start there. Once you know what's true and trustworthy in yourself, in your life, consciousness comes on its own to help you then. Not before.

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