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realness is really truth telling and sometimes truth telling isn't real



there's a lot of talk about the shadow when you get past all the talk about the light in the new age world. if you can get yourself past the shadow talk and down into the realness the new age movement started from, you find gems like this cheat sheet. judgment as shadow elements only takes you so far.  reminding yourself judgment isn't just a rejection of your hidden self and that you can take self-inquiry further:  this is where realness emerges.

fear motivates in ways we do not want to acknowledge.  knowing fear and judgment are close friends on the vibrational energy train will help you work deeply with your gap (the space between experience and reaction).  when you judge, it springs from a place of habit and distancing, othering. using the gap to examine the uncomfortableness of it all, and noticing how much you want to get away from that uncomfortableness into somewhere else will help you with the next step: opening the door to the uncomfortableness to see what's just behind it.

when i judge, i eventually find fear if i allow myself not to run away from the moment. it's protectionary and evasive, childlike and troubling.  the most i can do is open the door and see it -- oh, i think i'm judging someone about being unorganized and avoidant and wasting my time, but really it's kind of similar to me (uncomfortableness) and that's scary because... because what if i'm just a performance fraud as well, pretending to be on top of it all and really just changing the channel instead of getting anything real done with my time and my whole life.  fear of i am not who i think i am, fear of being found out, fear of wasting this safe life experience, fear of dying suddenly and ending up back where i started, trying to figure it all out again...

"you think she's great but she's actually a hot mess and isn't really reliable" unveils layers of hidden fearful subtext that drives me away from me.  being reminded that judgment felt comes from fear helps me get in that gap, open that uncomfortableness, see the lie i am living with -- this is really a good, good thing.  you don't want hidden fearful subtext getting into the things you are creating: your true love relationship, your once in a lifetime moment, your million dollar business idea, your legacy, your children, your community.  you wouldn't want that undertone of smelly, not quite-right-ness getting into your precious things.  your precious things should include you.

judging is normal, too normal.  but pause today, feel out that uncomfortableness.  maybe then or tomorrow you can open that door when it shows up next, and you can start to peek at what is trying to motivate you, your hidden fearful subtext.  only by glancing at it more and more can it drift away (yes, secret of it all: it just needs to be seen to dissolve, there's nothing else to do).

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