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instant and perfect success forever is a myth

A lot of my clients struggle with the concepts of systemizing healthy-for-them habits + non-succeeding.  They expect to create a system of habits and be extraordinary about it.  I often see them weeks or months later with their "I meant to...", "I had been..." and a big pile of self-loathing dragging behind them.  They've wasted time coming to terms with non-succeeding.  I try to get them to realize every day is a new beginning, every week is a new start, every month the fresh chance to try again.   They don't seem to believe me.

The self-loathing pile is unnecessary.  It's story, and a bad one.  

At the end of each week I answer questions I have on a sticky note in my agenda:
What went well?
What went "wrong"?
What can I do differently?
I reflect on the week and the questions and then move the sticky forward in my agenda book.
And I try to be a little bit better the next week.  
I just try. 

I also have notes everywhere around my desk.  Reminders of how I want to feel in my life right now (invigorated, active, connected, liberated, joyful, vibrant), what keeps me functioning well in my life (eating well and consistently, staying creative, doing movement, listening to body requests, being financially secure), year end goals (be more open, not so beige spirituality, eat more veggies, meditate more regularly, be more naturally sporty), monthly goals (write every day, do art every day, listen to teaching recordings, walk more everywhere), values (inclusivity, connection, devotion, openness, learning, truthfulness), etc.  Tons of notes on what things are (peace is joy at rest, joy is peace on its feet), what they should be (if at any moment you are not content and at peace with total certainty, you can know that your mind has created this).  

The point is, I live in this world of shrinking attention spans and never-ending influx of information, and I remind myself as much as I can what is important to me.  It's necessary to do this.  Otherwise, I can just be moved from moment to moment by external reminders that are created by things I don't want to see more of in the world (separateness/division, endless consumption, disconnection from body-mind-spirit).  

What I most want my clients to know is that I don't just naturally have healthy-for-me habits in place, and that I succeed in following my systems 24/7.  I want them to know I work at it, and it's okay for them to work at it to.  Starting over, trying again:  these are not bad things.  These are really the only things you have to work with that are worthwhile.  So get comfortable with non-succeeding, and comfortable with systemizing healthy-for-you habits. And begin to see time for what it is:  an adjustable, forgivable medium there to help you.






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